An Angel's Blessing and Demon Boy
by SilverwolfSmashingLightbulbs
Summary: Kagome wants to live the life she wants but InuYasha will not let her go, Kagome doesn't understand until InuYasha must tell her the truth.
1. Magic Snails

-~The Slightly Strange Story~-by SmasingLightbulbs and edited (a lot) by Elfangle  
  
HA, WE GOT YOU! This is not A ROMANCE STUPID THING NONR EVER WILL BE! You have been tricked by our clever little scheme to read our story and you will have the pleasure or displeasure of reading it. We are not responsible for horrible anger or people who are mad at the fact that we wrote this! FLAME IF YOU WANT TO, I DON'T CARE AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own in any way InuYasha so don't get on my nerves about it!  
  
InuYasha appeared out of nowhere with blinding light that could kill any one who saw it, even though everyone saw it no one died at all. Kagome suddenly appeared out of the ground with mushrooms growing out of her hair.  
  
Kagome sheiks and throws millions of mushrooms at InuYasha even though she only has five of them in her hair. And no one knows where they have come from.  
  
Sango smiles cheesily and cuts her hands off with her hands (hurr?). And raises them up into the sky thinking something will happen. They all sit there dumbstruck until Meroku shows up and pees in his pants.  
  
Sango: Hey guys I'm not wearing any socks!  
  
The group looks at her distressed. (All except InuYasha fondling with his hair and shrieks when he sees a split-end)  
  
Miroku: I have found the WAY!!!!  
  
InuYasha dumbstruck: What way, they're never. any. way..  
  
Miroku: look, it's down that road. He points to some bushes and a huge forest. It's down that road, see.  
  
Sango: I don't think that that's a road. (Her hands are suddenly back on her wrists, but she is covered head to toe in bugs.)  
  
Kagome's eyes light up: I have the gift of sight beyond sight!!  
  
For some reason she sees through the forest and just sees more forest.  
  
Kagome: There is nothing but forest Miroku!  
  
For some reason Kagome is all serious but it passes quickly.  
  
Kagome: Mushrooms! (She stares at the ground and there is nothing there.)  
  
Sango: Wellllllll that didn't last very long! (She starts drooling uncontrollably)  
  
Shippou comes out behind Kagome's legs, as he was morphed in them for who knows why.  
  
Shippou: what's the matter Kagome?  
  
InuYasha: there is nothing the wrong with Kagome because I drugged her with bleach tomorrow.  
  
Shippou: that's impos.  
  
He is cut off because all of a sudden the whole worlds population of snails come flying out of nowhere and if you touch them you will become a giant chicken.(guess what's gonna happen)  
  
InuYasha gets out his Tetsiaga and starts to cut each and every snail in half one by one.(smart tactics aren't they?)  
  
Miroku gets out his wind tunnel but when he suck them up they turn him slowly in to a giant turkey by each one he sucks up.  
  
Miroku: No! They are too powerful they will kill me with their awesome power!  
  
Then they all fall down and bow at Shippou.  
  
Kagome shouting out the obvious: They all fell down and bowed at Shippou!  
  
InuYasha: Kagome you shouted out the obvious!  
  
Kagome: (sniff) I'm only thinking about the poor little blind people out there!  
  
Miroku: Ummm. I hate to tell you this, but there are no blind people out there to hear you, and why don't we just think about these whoopee-cushions all around us?  
  
Sango: there are no whoopee-cushions around us there obviously something that we know but we don't you hear?  
  
Shippou while the snails are all crawling all over him and exploding: Umm. Can we POSSIBLY THINK ABOUT ALL THESE SNAILS CRAWLING ALL OVER MY BODY PLEASE!  
  
InuYasha stuffed some golf clubs in his ears, which he got out of nowhere: Can we please think about the birds and the bees?  
  
Kagome: no! My mom she, like, got this new lawnmower and she, like, uses it all the time to, for some reason mow the lawn, but I, like, don't know why she does it. She, like, pushes it around and it, like, cuts the grass and, like, makes too much damn noise!  
  
They all start eating the snails even though they will turn them into giant chickens; but it doesn't because they are eating them(which makes no sense at all. Eventually they eat all the snails and they are all gone, thus eliminating the whole population of snails.)  
  
Then they walk into the forest that Miroku pointed to and they find a house. Then at night because the house is abandoned, they stay there.  
  
InuYasha stares aimlessly at the wall: RRRRRAAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRR (And falls asleep grinding his teeth while sucking his thumb, keeping every one up the whole night except for 3 seconds, while InuYasha sleeps the whole night away.)  
  
Kagome: Do you guys like think the snails have effected his brain, like, somehow?  
  
In a flash of black smoke Kikiyo appears.  
  
Kikiyo in creepy voice: No my precioussss, he is always like this!!  
  
She suddenly sinks into the ground and hisses at them.  
  
In the morning every one is tired (except InuYasha)  
  
InuYasha (in a innocent voice): What's the matter with YA'LL!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone: You kept us up the whole night!  
  
They all walk out of the house and suddenly Kagome shrieks and throws herself on the ground shaking, yelling and screaming because her favorite show is on and she wants to see it. Then she starts staring intently at the ground thinking that it is the Bill Cosbey Show  
  
Kagome in her delusional state: No Bill Cosbey!!! There's a man with a knife in that room!! Don't go in there!!  
  
Shippou: Kagome! Kagome! Don't let Bill Cosbey take over your mind! KAGOME  
  
Sango: let her be you little asshole of a demon. Now here did I put my boomerang. Ohhhhhh!!!!! There it is!  
  
She grabs a very big banana and starts to pet and stroke it  
  
Sango in soft voice: Oh I thought that I lost you. You're my only love. You mean the world to me! Without you my life wouldn't be worth living. You're the only one left!  
  
~-Flashback-~  
  
BACK AND BACK SOME 12 THOUSAND YEARS AGO  
  
(Coughs)12 YEARS ago before Sango stared smoking *magic* mushrooms, she managed to kill her first demon and used it's rib bone to make the boomerang.  
  
BACK TO THE FUTURE!  
  
*Cough, cough ~-In the present-~  
  
(InuYasha's INTELLIGANT THOUGHTS)  
  
InuYasha is thinking about how his grandmother would look in a bikini. InuYasha's thoughts wander back to the ranch! Ohhhhhhh! Give me a house where the bufelows rame and the deer and antilops stay (* InuYasha forgets how the rest the song goes) Ummmm Ummmmm Umm Ummm Ummmm Umm Um Um Um Um Um Ba Do Da Chickens me fat. (Whatever)  
  
Then his thoughts turn to his knight in shinning armor. SCOOBY DOOBY DOO! -~END OF InuYasha's INTELLIGANT THOUGHTS)\  
  
Kagome: Umm Inu? Are you asleep? Because the chickens flew the coop tomorrow!  
  
Miroku morphs into the Godfather: I believe that is impossible.  
  
End of Chapter one! 


	2. The Battle of Barney

The Slightly Strange Story DISCLAIMER: ON CHAPTER 1,PLEASE!

SmasingLightbulbs: CHAPSTICK 2! Elfangel: (cough) CHAPTER 2

All the people are walking in the forest until the get to the path. Miroku has miraculously turned back into his normal self. But InuYasha is still acting like a dumbass and is starting to sing: Doo Wah didty, didty dum didty doo singing doo wah didty dity dum didty dee there she was just a walking down the street singing doo wah didty didty dum didty dee! Oh, oh orangitage. Oh, oh orangitage, looks a bit like a little old man.

Sango: Shut your goddamn mouth, SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH, ALL OF YOU!

InuYasha tucks away into a corner that appears out of nowhere (as many things do): (sniff) you're so, so, so, mean!

They all start yelling at each other and astonishingly they start a fire with all their anger. And out of the fire springs…(guess who) 

DUN, DUN, DUNNNNN! Barney!!!!!!!!!NO!!!!!!!!!

They all scream in agony and pain, as the evil lord of all gaywads has appeared on this poor, forsaken land!

Kagome: It's a demon, kill it InuYasha with the power of the Sikon no Tama! 

InuYasha: I DON'T HAVE THE FREAKIN' SIKON NO TAMA!

Kagome: Then we are all DOOMED!

InuYasha squeals in delight and pulls out the tetsiaga. While Kagome pulls out her bow and Barbies (as arrows) 

InuYasha: You shall die (Blah, Blah, Blah)

Then he notices that Kagome is using Barbies instead of arrows

InuYasha: What the hell are those?

Kagome: These are the latest style of Barbie!! They seem to work better than those icky arrows that stab and KILL people! These are used to make evil beings admit their evil doing and be evil no more!! Isn't that cool?! (Kagome starts jumping up and down happily flapping her arms like a bird) 

InuYasha: What if it doesn't work!? I mean their Barbies for gods sake!! They're not going to….

And all this time Barney has been standing silently for no apparent reason, then suddenly he strikes out at InuYasha who blocks it and they begin to fight.

Kagome: Oh, get him InuYasha I'll help too! (She begins to shoot Barbies at him with her bow missing miserably and hitting InuYasha)

InuYasha: Goddamn it Kagome! Stop hitting me with those sorry excuses for ribbons! (He hears himself say this and stops to think sitting down) (How stupid) Barney hits him in the head knocking him out cold. 

Kagome: I will make you admit your evil deeds and be good!! (She squeals in delight despite the situation)

Barney: You are an idiot if you think those crappy pieces of shit can stop me!!(Cackles evilly and then spit flies from his mouth melting all the Barbies)

Kagome: Well I will use my even cooler dolls the Diva Stars!!, and if that doesn't work, I have even better dolls called, What's Her Face that will totally an eliminate you! And, and if that doesn't work I'll use my ever more powerful Bratz dolls that never miss their mark even if they are burned to ashes! And well you will never ever beat my best dolls that I will use after the Bratz dolls that are called, The Cabbage Patch Kids, so now you will be sorry that you ever came her in the first place you LOAD OF SHIT! But I'm not tellin' you (wheww… wait…Okay?)

Barney in a bored voice: Believe me, I already am sorry that I came here. You guys can't even defeat me when little children can!

Kagome: Help me!! Help me for I am a damsel in distress and cannot defend myself! (She places her hands in front of her face)

Sango: I will help you for I am sooooooo cooooo! (She throws her huge banana at Barney but it just bursts open sending banana everywhere)

Miroku: I will suck him up with my wind tunnel even thought InuYasha will be sucked up too!!(Grins cheesily and unwraps the holy beads and lets lose the sucker thing)

But to his prevail, his wind tunnel is stuffed up with snails.

Miroku:Oh no I can not save you for my wind tunnel is stuffed up with snails, I am sorry my love.

Sango and Kagome at the same time: What?!?

Miroku: Umm…. I think that I better leave now(The accual reason that he is leaving isn't because of what he said)

He tiptoes off an devores all the snails that have clogged up his windtunnel. He doesn't come back intil the end of the fight.

And for those of you who are wondering, Shippou had disappeared to take a 2 hour dump in a hole in the ground. (uh…Yeah...Right…looks around uneasily)

Okay. Back to InuYasha. InuYasha has gained conciosness and finds a butter knife to cut Barney in half even though his tetsiga is lying right next to him. They all shout in happiness as the evil lord of all gaywads, withered and died in pain.

They all start to walk away , when Kagome hears a very unpleasnt noice coming froma hole in the ground. They all stupiduosly run over to the hole gasping and gaping at the unatural mound of shit that has acumulated in the hole. 

Miroku:Wow that's a huge load of crap! How did you ever manage to make that? (he starts mumbling) I've tried forever to produce that amout of crap but I never was able to. How did you do that Shippou?

Shippou: Oh dear GOD! PPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!My ASS!

They all walk away as if not interested in the unpeakable amout of shit collected in the hole, except for Miroku who, for who nows why, sucked up all the crap into his windtunnel walking off until the next 2 chapters. 

Sango relizes that Miroku is gone and tries to run off after him but she is attacted by billions of monkeys that almost kill her. 

Sango: No I must be near my love so we can have a whole episode on our love and beautiful romance, because that's all I ever think about and all I ever will think about until you come back to me, Miroku! (she runs back to the group crying pitifly)

SmashingLightbulbs:End the of chapstick 2! Elfangel: (glares at SmashingLightbulbs)Chapter 2!


	3. Crossovers

Chapter 3 By: SmashingLightbulbs and edited (a lot) By Elfangel

DISCLAIMER: Chapter 1

Crossovers

Some one had to drag Sango and guess whom! InuYasha dragged her along the ground and she was howling about Miroku, even though no one cares about him except for her.

InuYasha: Why do we have to drag Sango along the ground why don't we just let her go, I mean we always do that to you when you want to go down that bitching ass motherrucking hole of yours!

Kagome in monotone voice: I have no recondition of what you are talking about…

Before any one can say anything someone that no one wants to see appears from a mysterious mist… Osama Binladin, Saddam Hussein and SESSOMURU!

Kagome: Lions and tigers and bears…Oh I mean Osamas, and Saddams, and Sessomurus Oh my!! (Leaps into InuYasha's arms, who defiantly drops her)

InuYasha: Ewww, get the cooties off of me!! (Starts wiping himself off with a disgusted look on his face) Kagome stay thirty feet away from me at all times!! I have a restraining order against you!

Kagome sticks her tongue out at him: your so mean how are we going to please the fans, when we don't have romantic moments? (Tears form in her eyes and she begins to cry, as she looks amazingly ugly because of the loads of mascara that she has on, get in her eyes) I, I, I love you InuYasha!! 

InuYasha: Kagome! There is no time for this we will kiss and do lovey dovey shit later right now we must kill Osama, Saddam, and Sessomuru or he will kill you and more importantly me!! I mean I could, like, get dirt in my nails or worse break a nail!! (He sets and pulls the Tetsiaga from his sheath) I will kill them, come on simpleton slaves lets go!! (But the evil trio has already knocked out and tied up all the others.)

InuYasha: Crap!! Kagome I will need your pathetic archery skills and mouth to confuse them in your evil ways!! I will under the circumstances have to call upon the most sacred weapon of all!!

Thus, he puts the Tetsiaga back in it's sheath and grabs his most trusted, powerful weapon a WENDEY'S BRAND PLASTIC BUTTER KNIFE! Then Saddam pulled from his blood stained sheath his father's withered and torn arm! InuYasha and he begin (Yugio shouts from a distance drowning out the actual words on this story) IT'S TIME TO D-D-D-D-DUEL!!!!!!!!

Sessomuru is conveniently sitting in a pub that appeared out of nowhere (sounds familiar doesn't it?) drinking pints of beer and listening to a pair of very drunk hairy footed little children along with a tremendously fat one and a last paranoid child with huge eyes tearing at every moment. (Now that sounds slightly familiar) 

Someone in the pub: What's that?

Someone else in the pub: This, my friend is a pint.

Other someone in the pub: You mean it comes in pints, I getting me one! (There is a large crash and a couple of yelling voices is heard. And then a piercing scream)

Sessomuru: Oh dear god, these tiny bastards are the living hell of the world! There're breaking all the mugs and drinking all the beer! God damn it!! 

(Meanwhile back at the evil, morbid, nasty, ranch- "coughs" Meanwhile back at the "Battle")

Kagome: No, (in babyish voice) Never Ever!!!

Suddenly she is dressed in a barrel yelling at InuYasha who is currently in a headlock with Saddam, but not for long as InuYasha has just taken Saddam's head off and smashed it back on in a fountain of blood…(Yeah…. Um… Right)

Kagome (starts jumping up and down like a rabid raccoon screaming things inaudible then finally squeaks out): Ewwww! That's nasty InuYasha, why do you always have to do nasty despicable things like that any way?

Mysterious voice with British: I know why…Kagome my dearest loves! (You don't want to know who the other person is… Let's just say that Harry Potter is gay…)

Other mysterious voice with a British accent: What?! Harry we never agreed to that lovey rubbish!! (In fly Ron Weasley and Harry Potter they smash into the wall of the pub with a shower of sparks, but are strangely fine as always and Harry has that stupid gay smile that he always has on with eyes the size of dinner plates.)

Harry: This is the pub that appears out of nowhere all the time for three seconds! (Even though it has been there for more than three seconds)

Ron: Yeah, right Harry, what the hell is that! (He points at InuYasha) and what monstrosity is that! (He point at Osama) At this time InuYasha was trying to count to 3.

InuYasha: 1,6786,7676,7,98,24,26 um… 4,3! What it isn't gone but, that doesn't make any sense! My whole life as I know it is crashing down and crumbling into small pieces! NNNNNNOOOOO!!!!!!! (He falls to the ground crying and twitching like the world is ending abruptly or as if a piece of his hair had fallen out.)

Ron: Right, Harry lets get out of here! (They go into the pub disappearing into the light and a pint of beer flies out and smashes into a million pieces on the ground)

Then InuYasha turned his attention to Osama and then… 

InuYasha in a fast Japanese accent: I-will-use-my-powerful-Bayblade-tops-to-kill-you. Fall-before-the-ultimate-evil-of-spinning-little-tops-into-potholes. Each-sold-separately-in-the-packages-you-see. 

He then throws out packages of different colored tops to the "audience" and the "camera" created out InuYasha's "intelligent" imagination. He then decides to eat some dirt while Osama runs away with weapons of "mass destruction" a.k.a. are very small round clods of dirt. InuYasha then forgets everything about life as we now it and zones off into his own fantasy world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~THE BESTEST (Best!) COMMERCTIAL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A boy runs in and tugs at his father's sleeve trying to look cute for the camera, but miserably fails as snot trails out of his nose, and he is extremely chubby and fat beyond comprehension. 

Little boy: Daddy (sniff) is god black or (sniff) white?

Dad: What kind of fucking question is that it? Anyway god is both so it is fair! Now go fuck yourself! (The little boy runs away to do just that. Strange noises come from the boy's room)

-An hour later-

Little boy: Daddy is god (sniff) a man or a woman cuz (sniff) I heard that he is a (sniff) man but that isn't (sniff) fair!

Dad: Goddamn it! What's with all the crappy fucking questions? Well anyway, god is both, now go play in the highway you bitch!(little boy runs off and a squeal of a car's breaks and much cursing is heard)

-Later that night-

The little boy comes in decapitated and bleeding all over (but is thankfully no longer sniffing): Dad first of all you are correct about god being both man and woman, and both black and white, thus, he is Michael Jackson! Now I have to give you this!

(In a blaze of light he pulls out a glowing and sparkly Michael Jackson Plush! He pulls the string.)

Michael Jackson Plush: I am Michael Jackson, and I am for real! Eat me cuz I'm hot stuff baby!

Little boy: Buy a copy that's much crappier than him! Buy it for AN UNBEILEVIBLE PRICE THAT'S JUST 150 shipments of $139.95 it's all worth it! It has an amazing total of 2 lines, which is actually Michael's entire vocabulary! Call 1-800-I-love-Michael to get this unforgettable plush! Now back to our crap-tacular scheduled program!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~END OF THE BESTEST (Best!!!!) COMMERCTIAL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-~ InuYasha's INTELLIGANT THOUGHTS-~(Brought back by popular demand…yeah right you get the point)

I win because, I'm telling, because your it! Hey girl! Up yours! HHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYY, THAT'S MINE! He grabs the dirt and throws it in the air, he looks up and the dirt falls all over his face, up his nose, down his shirt, in his mouth, and stuck in his all ready clogged ears.

This worm-filled dirt tastes very familiar um, err, um, do'oh, what is it now? Oh, bacon lard cakes…no frum unda cheese no…I got it!! ORANGES with a small tang of yurdal cakes grated on top!!!!!(His mouth begins to water changing the "orange with yurdal cakes on top" flavored dirt into mud) yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk! RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED LUGUS!!!!!!! ORANGES!!!!!!!! 

Now let's sing a song! LA Blah Kashaka Me gusta Imposo La me POO! ISHKA POPO JEW KAW WAW! InuYasha starts screaming this out loud insanely, making everyone who hears it becomes very concerned about his health.

Hola, como estas? Muy bien gracias y ustede? No me gusta comer un sandwich. Yo soy muy feo y gordo. (Hello, how are you? Very good, thank you and you? I don't like to eat a sandwich. I am very ugly and fat)

Get out of my house, I told you before! This is my house, don't you know? It's me favorite! Mother everything is your favorite. Mold isn't. Everything that's edible. Cherries aren't. Then why do you eat them? Because they are ME FAVORITE!

-~ End of InuYasha's INTELLIGANT THOUGHTS~-

After eating three thousand hundred pounds of worm filled dirt, InuYasha starts to walk toward Kagome but he stopped short by the Power Rangers!

Power Rangers in fast Japanese accent: we will become one with nothing so we can become nothing! And after that we will morph into one with our grandmother that somehow is all of our grandmothers even though we aren't related at all. This is the power of Mighty Morphin' Rangers! Now you must see our morphing Japanese crap and crappy animation of our monsters and even crappier unreal machines! We shall now unleash our crappy weak animations which are really people in cheesy costumes!!!! Muhahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

InuYasha: Okay? And you're supposed to be …some sort of heroes right, or am I just getting *high*? I mean I just ate dirt, I mean that can make you high right, right!? But then again, you want to get high in case I am not?

Red ranger: Yes we are extremely powerful mighty unbeatable heroes! Bow down before the evil replica of our heroes…Bayblade tops! Watch us twirl and destroy you with our wimpy fake kicks! 

Before InuYasha can do anything to the (in sarcastic voice) the great Mighty Moron' Rangers (dun dun dunnn) they start spinning around in big pink fluffy totos and yellow leotards like drunk hoboes until they pass out and kill themselves in a smelly pool of their own peanut-butter-and-jelly-sandwich vomit.

After the power rangers beat themselves up, InuYasha once again tries to get to Kagome who is now sleeping in her (very, very) small barrel, which was supposed to be used to put 30 (Because 10 is way to small) pickles in. But somehow Kagome managed to fit herself in it for no apparent reason.

Kagome wakes up in the bushes: InuYasha all you do is sit around all the time! You never help protect any of us and I always have to do it! I 'm getting tired of defeating all these demons with the Tetsiaga! You always just sit there and shoot little Barbies with your boy. I never get to relax around here even though I have thousands of hours with nothing to do! You are so lazy carrying me around all day; I've gotten really fat! You need to walk of all this fat FOR ME, you lazy BBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!! SIT!!!!!

InuYasha after getting up from the ground: What the HELL are you talking about! I'm the one who ALWAYS has to protect you people and do all this work for you all! YOURE THE ONE WHO IS WHORTHLESS!!! I DO EVERYTHING! (Sure) Now, excuse me for I will now shoot crap from my lard like ass for I am so powerful! 

Before InuYasha can get to Kagome, a small round, red, and white ball hits him. InuYasha screams as he is turned into red light and sucked inside the ball. He immediately gets out of the ball mad as a killer bee sprayed with poison.

InuYasha: WHY THE HELL DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME!!! I AM TIRED OF BEING ABUSED!!

InuYasha starts to cry and he runs off into the ground only to return when his name is called three times. Then someone in the shadows appears, even though it is still shrouded by shadows.

Someone in the shadows for an mysterious affect that he (obvious) isn't getting: Why is there a dog underneath me porch!? Where is the dog?! Where's the porch!? (In retarded voice that's all dried out) hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Me couldn't catch the ultra rare allusive InuYasha! So me am going to laugh like a retarded geek who sucks like and eats and may I add smells like crap!(his bottom lip becomes lazy and drops exposing black gums and a few misplaced ugly cavity filled teeth) 

Kagome: What the hell is that? Is it some sort of hideous worm or snake, wait what am I talking about? Help InuYasha! (She falls over totally drunk and wasted as though she's been drinking for countless hours)

(Ashes in Ketchup (a.k.a. Ash Ketchum) walks into the light, he is immensely fat and has a lazy eye and the biggest ass you've ever seen (We'll let you imagine how big it is) and is wearing tight black leather clothes that are WAY too small. (Ewww…unwanted imagery) His tremendous gut spills out and overlaps the belt line and it is unbelievably hairy (okay that is just plain nasty)

Ash: Now me will try to sappily befriend InuYasha so he will join me force and be me slave like all me other poke'mans!

Well that doesn't work as InuYasha appears and starts running around screaming: Help I need somebody! Help not just anybody! Help I need the Powerpuff girls! (he squeals and jumps on a chair that appears out of nowhere(sound familiar doesn't it) and hops up and down and on top of it all pulls up a imaginary dress) STRONG VERNEL FEMAMINE ITCHES! (Right)

Out of no where a stupid song arises: Blossom the slayer and the rapier. Bubbles the weakling and the gaywad. Buttercup she's the evil morbid. Powerduffs save the day! Helping crime trying to save the world! Fighting crime as the forces of evil! Here they come late as ever the Powerduff girls!

Out of the blue come the Powerduff girls. G.I.Goe is always there!!!! (Personally I've found some things about them that I must rant about. Okay, first HOW do they pick any thing up with those blobs for arms, and WHY are their friekin' eyes so huge they look like their flies or something. And those people who draw them CAN NOT DRAW! I mean, The Powerpuff girls are made out of circles! And have you ever noticed that all of the crowds are huge purple blobs, or in the background their HIDEOUS!!!)

They all poke Ashes in the eyes and then are struck by lightening.

Kagome: Thanks Zeus!!

Zeus: Your welcome!

And for those who want to know, Sango and Shippou have been forgotten and are still tied to a tree next to the pub that appeared out of nowhere, which InuYasha has joined. He is screaming and acting like a moron even though he acts like one anyway.

Sessomuru runs out of the pub and falls on the ground puking, making his face all dirty. He gets up and stumbles around falling towards Sango and Shippou. He falls over onto the ropes and burps, spreading the smell of beer all over the two. 

Harry Potter and Ron: Haha Thanks for the beer, CHUMP!

Harry and Ron: Haha. Thanks for the poisonous beer that we aren't supposed to be drinking. We'll die and suffer later a probably not live through he night. You're sucha pal. CHUMP!

Sessomuru: Yeee-e-eee!!!! Yeah that's right you owe me for all that beer you bought me, Because I bought it! 

He then pukes some more on the ground spreading the smell everywhere…He walks over to Sango and Shippou and grabs the rope and starts yelling at it.

Sessomuru: You shut up! You shut your goddamn mouth! You better shut up! I kill you! I kill you all!

He then cuts the rope because it won't "shut up". And then he falls over onto the ground fast asleep.

Sango and Shippou: Hurrah!! We aren't tied up and being ignored like Kagome is right now.

Kagome: Hey! I'm not being ignored I was just sleeping in this very comfortable barrel that is now making huge cuts around my waist! 

After hearing Sessomuru wakes up: You all are weak! Look at InuYasha! He's getting drunk! I on the other hand I am completely sober! So guess what? I'm gonna go with you! InuYasha can suck my balls!

So now Sessomuru has joined the group. Who knows what InuYasha's going to do? This is going to be a long day…(if you know what I mean)


	4. THe Never Ending sssttooorrryy Chapter

Elfangel: MAINLY BY ME!

SmashingLightbulbs: Chapter 6778 Elfangel: (Coughs) Chapter 4 

Disclaimer: Chapter 1!

The never-ending (storrrryyy) chapter!

InuYasha: What the FUNKY is you doing in me House?

Sessomuru: What the fudge are you talkin' bout dis ain't no bitch ass friekin' house! 

InuYasha out of the blue bringing up an old argument: I 'm prettier than you are garbage slop! Because 1+1 will always =1!

Sessomuru: Why the fuck did you have to bring that bitchin' ass argument up for ass-wipe!? And 1+1=2 you ignoramus! Wait what am I…

InuYasha: What where did you get that crap from Dumbo? And I mean look at my beautiful light-blue locks! I have no spit-ends! Look non-at all! (Cooing) Go on touch it, you know you want to! (He bats his girlish eyelashes at him coyly and holds out a lock stroking it lovingly while looking as ugly as possible)

Kagome trying to end the argument but failing miserably: Hey guys, if that's what you call yourselves. I think your both are extremely putrid!

Shippou and Sango: Yeah we're with Kagome.

InuYasha and Sessomuru at the same time: WWHHAATTT!!! (They point at each of them in turn) WHAT ABOUT VOTING FOR ME!?

Sango, Shippou, and Kagome stand looking off into space while the argument gets worse, and start drooling like they are no longer living. Thus, making giant pools of saliva around them until they are soaked to the bone. (Even though it should just get wider not taller but it doesn't) 

InuYasha: RRRAAWWWRRR!! (He lunges at Sessomuru and they start pulling each other's hair and trying to chew on each other's noses, and all the while growling like savage beasts) 

They fall back at the same time huffing and puffing not to mention glaring wickedly.

Kagome: Their going to blow the house down!

Sango: What are you yakin' about? There are no dang houses in this house! 

Shippou: What are you talking about there is no house in the twenty-third place! So you can't have a house in an apartment! You Dult! You don't even know what you're whisperin' about; you're go insane all of you! I meat turkeys can fly! Where is the clock and the hour? They have hit us like waffleball bats in the creek. The days have gone up in the west, just to go down in the east into light! (His eyes become dilated and he falls over frothing at the mouth like he's having a seizer and his tail falls off and wiggles all over the place. Out of a mysterious cloud of hot-pink butterflies, Miroku appears.)

Miroku: Hi y'all! Wuz up dawgs, what's hanging?

Sango sadly and quietly: Miroku you've changed…

Miroku: No… No! I haven't I'm so sorry (they start hugging and suffocating each other and crap like that)

InuYasha, not noticing, points at a tree: You'll vote for me won't you? (The tree "strangely" doesn't answer and InuYasha looks into the sky) I call upon the only people who can settle this problem! (And to his answer an old hoe appears!) (She has scraggily hair and is holding a bottle of nasty whiskey and is smoking a cigarette.) 

The old hoe happens to have the script: (she hobbles over, trips and fall on a pool of pee, and cracks her head on a toilet) Shit!! No (huff) wait it's supposed (huff) to be the …… 

Out of nowhere (yet again) the FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING appears!!

Frodo: Sam I don't think we're in Kansas any more!

Sam: What the HELL mister Frodo? We were never in "Kansas" anyway wherever or whatever that is. 

Gandulf hits them on the head and knocks them out for a few moments. (NO!!! Not moments!)

Gandulf: Fool of a Took!! Oh wait that's Pippin, sorry,(he bellows and his face explodes and Pepsi flies from his mouth) FOOL OF A BAGGINS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(It breaks all windows in a million mile radius) huff…huff…(Quickly as though Sam doesn't matter, and because he doesn't we won't waste our precious time in capitalizing his last name) Oh yeah, fool of a gamgee too.(He falls over into a pit of extremely poisonous snakes) 

Sam: Door…

Aragorn who always talks in questions: Look, there are people over there and they are standing around looking at us?

Legolas: No duh, Aragorn no duh.

Gimli, always saying the opposite of what he means: No one appears to have dog-ears, and no another seems to be missing an arm, and no one has a tail and there isn't a ugly and hideous woman. I smell very pretty, and am a chik magnet, AND I LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE GENTLEMAN!

Legolas: Of the road that leads to night and the evil that lurks in the shad… WHO FARTED?!

Gimli innocently: I didn't. 

Aragorn mumbles: Yeah right?

Frodo making constipated noises between words: Haven't…complained…need to complain…can't go on…without complaining…

Sam: I will listen to your complaining, surely I will! Don't you worry! Frodo! For I am the one!

Aragorn: Yeah the only one who will listen to such crap? 

Legolas: Why is everything you say, a question?

Aragorn: Because they were big, small snack fats that ate jump words in there?

Gimli trying to get all attention possible: Oh Dear Lord those bean burritos were not too much! PPPPPPUUUUUUUUULLLLLTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (His ass spontaneously combusts and it just so happens Bomobir has a liter, he lights in front of the fart and his face explodes too)

Merry and Pippin walk out of the pub drunk and wobbly. Pippin throws up on Merry.

Merry laughs maniacally then points at the vomit: Cool it looks like a cream soda! (They fall over and crawl away to some hidden bush. (You can use your imagination as to why) 

Yugio: Get the hell out of here! This is my house, my bush, get out!!!(A very sharp boot kicks out Merry and Pippin)

Merry: JEASUS THAT SMARTS, AND RIGHT WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE!!(He starts sobbing uncontrollably)

Yugio: My home, yes my home, its all mine, no one else's, just mine! (He pulls back into the bush and curls into a ball and rocks back and forth muttering "my home my home" but he seemed only to be reassuring himself. He starts to nibble on his rarest cards like cheap crackers)

Aragorn: AAHHH OOHHH???!!!! (He says this while slapping Yugio senseless) I will take them and beat the lives out of them??!!(He takes Merry, Pippin, and Frodo for some strange reason into the bush, and beats them one at a time against Yugio which instantly kills him)

Aragorn comes out holding the hobbits .He drops them and grins cheesily: I done ggggggooooooooodddddd!!!????

Legolas pats him on the head like a dog, throws a biscuit to him, which he eats quickly: Good boy, good Argygorn.(Aragorn rubs against his legs and purrs) 

And if you haven't noticed, the Inu crew has been doing nothing as though they are dead to the world, then suddenly they come back to life, like nothing had happened. They are surrounded in a pool of their own drool. Kikiyo then appears and sucks up all the drool. And pukes it all out on Miroku.

Miroku: Goddamnit why does all that shit happen to me? Why mmmmeeee!!!???(He starts wailing like a 82-year-old baby that just crapped in its diaper)

Gandulf talking like a gang leader: Men look, there is some weird people looking at us! Com'n let's get them! 

Legolas: Don't you think that is a little rash? Just a little?

Aragorn who's speech is getting worse: t'nsi taht on?

Gimli: What in the world are you talking about?

Merry: Yeah lets get thum!

Pippin: I'm all 4! Wait Merry you didn't spell "them" right and I didn't spell "for" either! Wait you said it so how CAN it be spelled wrong? Script writer! 

(Gandulf's phone rings) Gandulf: Shutup y'all! Oh no not you. All right sweet freakin' baby!

Frodo in high pitched girlish voice: Oh my god he's masturbating! That's horrible and vicious and indecent!

Sam: Frodo you sound like a high school girl! And besides it's kind of funny! (He starts laughing so hard he falls over and suffocates) 

Gandulf who has a HUGE cord-phone the size of a kitchen oven that isn't plugged into anything: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh… that's coo…

Pippin trying to sound like an intelligent doctor-person: It seems Sam has fallen asleep (Even though Sam ison the ground his face red and bile is raising out of his mouth and gurgling from suffocating himself)

Gimli: We must eat off his dead carcass like the dogs we are!!!!! (Starts feasting on Sam's body. The others inch away with scared looks on their faces)

Legolas, as the only one who is paining attention to anything ties up the Inu crew and starts to shout in their faces with spit, spewing out of THEIR mouths going everywhere covering everything.

Legolas's face is beet red as he yells at the Inu crew (he seems to resemble a trainer at a boot camp): You better address me as 'SIR YES SIR"!!!!!!!! Do I make myself clear!!

Aragorn: There is a pickled-beet in the ground, that is floating, lets eat it, and then beat it into a bloody pulp?!(he jumps on Legolas's back and gnaws at his neck) Me vampire eat blood, good for ware-wolf Argy??!!

Legolas pulls off Aragorn and glares at him. Aragorn whimpers and starts to cry: Me didn't do anything it was him!(He points at Sessomuru. Then bends his ass up to his head and craps in his hair) 

Legolas: I guess I will forgive you, but please take a shower. You have crap in your hair and it's worse than your usual grease!

Aragorn runs off and takes a shower but in stead of using shampoo he uses mud and for conditioner he uses lard. 

By the time he gets back, the Fellowship and Inu crew are in a living room in the biggest mansion, in mansion land, drinking expensive tea they (strangely) got out of no where and are best friends all because…

-Flash back-

InuYasha finally gets bored of playing 'me tied up' and breaks out of the ropes. He grips Gimli by the throat and amazingly lifts him up. After 2 hours of doing nothing Pippin gets spark a of intelligence: We will be your friend if you let him go!

Legolas: What in the world…

InuYasha in the most retarded voice possible: OOOOOOKKKKKKAAAAAYYYYY!!!!! (He drops Gimli and they become the bestest of friends)

-End of Flash back-

-LATER-

As they get ready to go to sleep every one hears an ear-splitting scream. They run into the bathroom to see Aragorn trying to put every ones contacts on, AT. THE. SAME. TIME! Next to him Frodo is screwing screws into his eyes making himself blind.

Sam leaps into the air jumping with all his might and topples over Frodo. He comes up holding Frodo who is in a dramatic pose

Sam: WHAT THE HELL MISTER FRODO!!! Why where you drilling screws into your eyes? 

Frodo in a death scene-pose voice: I wanted them to look shiny and unusual…. (He gasps, his head falls over and his tongue falls out like in most movie death scenes)

Sam with tears in his eyes: No mister Frodo No! (He lays his head in Frodo's chest then lifts out a picture of Rosy O' Donald from one of the many pockets) What the bloody hell is this!!!!!!!

-A FEW SECONDS LATER-

Frodo wakes up: That was a good long nap (even though it was only for a few seconds)

He glares at them when he sees them paying attention to, yet again, Aragorn!!! Muttering to himself: little attention-stealing bitch….

Legolas: What the hell where you thinking!

Aragorn: I was thinking of how pretty my eyes would look if I put every ones contacts in them!!(He squeals and tries to blink but can't as there is so many contacts and starts to make constipated noises trying to close his eyes)

Kagome being ignored for the longest time can't take it any more. She then scoops out Aragorn eyes and starts to go frantic running around in circles screaming about monthly bills she gets from her cell-phone even though she doesn't own one, and ties up Aragorn saying that he is potentially dangerous.

Sango: I'm tired of this crap in my house!

She blindly kicks Frodo spastically in the head in a very deluded state, making him wither in pain. Sam jumps with all his might(again) (only jumping a few inches) and attacks her, biting and killing her face.

All of a sudden all Kagome's bills from her 'cell phone' and the bills from the 'biggest mansion in mansion land' (which she bought her self (sniff Kagome we are so proud of you, NOT!) come flying out her chimney and attack her. And guess what Harry Potter comes flying in with them with a cheesy grin on his face, which seems to have been stapled on.

Harry Potter in his horrible English accent and talking to them like he had never met them before: Hi! I'm Harry Potter, I don't believe I've met you before!(he holds out his hand for them to shake even though no one is paying attention as they are weeping because Kagome is being shipped to the hospital in an ambulance (even though it's the feudal age)

Every one: Nooooooo! (In guys case) Kagome we love you !!!(Or in girls case) You are our bestest friend!

Since Kagome is gone every one turns their attention to Harry Potter who begins talking even though no one can under stand him in his horrible accent.

Harry potter: fvdfh vgsdkufgk jsgvbjdbv jkdbhcvi uehfgk bfvidbf gljkebnf hefvkjnb rgjlhffu! Dfgudy ghjhd guy dhfgvh brkfu hdufg vudsfb vjdhfvu!

Everyone else: huhhh?

All of a sudden all the Hogwarts Prefects come and grab harry in their wicked arms.

Prefects are shaking their middle fingers (like a normal sane person would shake their index finger) 

Prefects in a horrible but understandable accent: Uh, Notty Notty Little Potty! (They grab Harry and disappear in a puff of green smoke that almost poisons every one. Instead they all fall asleep.)

-Eons later-

Bomobir who is totally crazy about shields: Hey lets go get some shields!(his eyes get dilated and he jumps up and down while hugging his shield like Sam when he stares at Frodo too long and has to hug him.) Now! More shields for me! Shields! Shields! More! More! (Legolas knocks him unconscious, and suddenly Aragorn and his chair are sucked into the sky in a gust of wind)

Aragorn: I am flying, look at me, I'm a birdie?! HAHAHA…………………………………………………………………………………………….?

Legolas: I am so glad that's over!

--------SmashingLightbulbs: End of Chapter 6778! Elfangel: Durrrr… End of chapter 4!!!!!!----------


End file.
